KatzyKins Cries

I think I just haven't been tested like that in a minute. There could be a million factors to why that interaction felt so weird. But at the end of the day; I was hurt because this persona I've created wasn't strong enough to protect me. I need to be more poised--controlled and most importantly, I need to believe in my own "bullshit." I am not pretending to be a bad bitch that has it all; I AM a bad bitch that has it all. And I should know better than to let anyone with a life I do not envy and opinions I think are brain dead, stupid and flawed to make me feel less than myself. Not everything felt needs to be said and I really need to remember that. A bad bitch doesn't need to advertise, but I watched myself in real time explaining who I am--that cannot happen; we needn't explain. We don't need to explain our changes or our existence. We are allowed to simply "be." Hopefully keeping wings up will be easier without the progesterone and the bac...

So I didn't blog on my bday; I'm 32 now as of September 4th 2022.  I only ever blog when things aren't super swell or I came to some sHOCKING REVELATION~!!! Well last night my ipod wiped itself CLEAN. and the system forced me to do a factory reset on it. So I lost everything. I'm on my 3rd program now trying to recover the lost MP3s. And of course, my first thought is "oh no did I get hexed again?"  O3o but I'm getting the feeling my deities are just sick of the lamenting I've been doing--for legit no reason. I've been on progesterone for a minute and gooooood I hate it. Shit makes me sleepy and anxious. And I've been in a negative headspace for it. I think they're method was "we can give you something to cry about." Not to be mean; but to remind me that things aren't terrible o3o which is fair I think. I said I'd try to remain positive assuming I'm able to get my music back. Even though the drugs are making me feel ic...