12.23.21
I was thinking on some things and I realized the one-life-ruining thing that COULD have been an issue and SHOULD have been an issue--never happened to me. I cant honestly say I've ever had a good relationship with food. But for some reason I'm not a Binger and and I've only had a LEGIT eating disorder for like...6 months at 17. It never spiraled or got crazy. But if I think of it in terms of addiction; it starts to make sense. The only thing I can say for myself is that I don't have an addictive genetic makeup. I've fucked with a few substances but I never craved them mentally or physically. The only other time I ever fell off with food was accidental. I hadn't eaten right and got thinner and thinner and it was all because I wanted to sleep until I died. I was too weak to do anything let alone cook. But it wasn't a fear of being fat. And the closest thing to a binge for me was going a full day without any food, and then eating a pretty big fast-food meal....
