6.15.21

Haaa...not having your identity respected really fucking hurts. I don't know how anyone can say they care about me in the slightest but deny my pronouns in the same breath....

At least when I dont tell people, they aren't blatantly refusing; I can pretend that they'd bother if they knew...I can lie to myself :,)

And it's a very sweet lie...
Too sweet.

I'm back in a place where I can't stop thinking about dying...I'm back in that awful place.

I was made privy to someone I liked apparently scoffing at my identity as well...I'm in so much pain. I dont play pain Olympics but everyone is always assuming that it's it's competition. I just want my fucking existence respected, or you can fuck up out of my goddamn life forever. I don't need fucking parasitic body weights holding me the fuck down. I'm tired.

I have to go to the gym today. I'm gonna do chest, bc its short and I'm not feeling super pumped and I skipped lunch...

I just don't feel great. When my fb is unbanned, I'm going to unfriend these people.

Clean up my circle and keep myself reminded that just because they love my bf, doesn't make them my friends. It's doesn't mean they love me too.

I refuse to delude myself any longer...
It's just hurting me...

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