6.16.22

So today I found out I have atypical autism.
So uh....that sucks even tho I'm not supposed to say that.

I just kind of hate that I was right when I noticed everyone treating me like a burden my whole life was because somethings been "wrong" with me...kinda hurts.

It isn't "supposed" to but a diagnosis can be anything I feel. It can be good, bad or neutral, but my reaction isn't wrong.

And I shouldn't think that *I'm* wrong either...but I do. 

Feels like the mistreatment was "justified" because I have, in fact, been fucking weird this whole time--even tho I'd never justify mistreating anyone because they're "weird"

That isn't a cause for harm. But I never treat myself as kindly as I treat others, because no one else ever has.

But I really, REALLY need to stop. Because if no one else deserves this then why do I? Why am I special in a bad way?

Because I've always been, I guess...

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