10.9.26
Left work early yesterday because I couldn't stop thinking of mom. I'm almost not scared to be fired, I think I need a break from employment...get my head together...idk. Everything is heavy all the time now. I don't think anyone reads these so no one really comprehends the metric fucktons of pushing it takes to make myself do anything at all. It all feels pointless now. Everything says good things are coming but fucking when? The waiting is taking forever and I'm trying to be patient but I need a reason not to kill myself NOW. I'm hanging by a mother fucking thread. My psyche just charged me 500 bucks for nothing. And I don't see any light in sight...its just getting darker...
