5.22.26

 
I think I'm ascending as a witch again, it always begins with a period of intense, soul crushing darkness. But what I shed for will be worth everything endured. I'm not afraid. I'm not even a little upset. 


I know I've tolerated worse. Nothing thrown at me will be more than I can handle. A break isn't failure, it's a step toward light. You crack, so you can grow. 


Gods, for years I thought I was stupid, but I can't be if I at least picked up on this major fundamental. I've met so many others who never noticed it. 

    I had a dream about her last night, ex best friend...
        We were club hopping, and for some reason all these clubs had beds, and there were so many drunk girls sleeping in them. We said it looks chill and we might come back to it after some time on the beach. I think I'm just swallowing the pill that our summers together are really over. No gay club outings in Asbury, no trips to Rehoboth. 

    I wish her dumbass weren't quite so fucking stubborn, I wish she could just look at how she treated me when I was only trying to help her and say "Yeah that shit wasn't called for. I really wrongfully villainized them." 

If she'd just apologize, I would let it go. But she never has and I doubt she ever will. I won't hold my breath on her getting therapy either. 

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