9.15.26

When do I run out of pain to name?

When do I stop harping on this?

Her death literally ruined me. It buried me in so deep, that I can't find the bitch I used to be...

I don't know who I am anymore. I don't get dressed up, I don't go out. I don't do anything anymore. And I need it fixed now but I'm also not ready to be better....

But it would be nice if I had an idea of how long I'd have to sit here and just...miss her.

That's all I do now. I sit, stoned and I miss her. I replay childhood in my brain on repeat. I just don't want to do anything but see her again...

And I'm living til 93 according to my deities, this shit is just cruelty....

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